What Have I Done?
by Foxwox
Summary: Summary:What if Tony wasn't alone in Requiem?What if she and Tony had gotten into a fight the night before they went to save Maddie?What if Ziva had been with him when he tried to save them from drowning? Tiva
1. Prologue  The Fight

Summary: What if Tony wasn't alone in Requiem? What if she and Tony had gotten into a fight before they went to save Maddie? What if Ziva had been with him? What if she had been on the other side of the building with a group of shooters and saw her boss and Maddie drive into the water?

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><p><strong>Prologue - The Fight:<strong>

The apartment was dark apart from the glow of the candles and the dim lamp that stood on the side table. A half empty bottle of vodka rested on the coffee table. The silence in the room was defining to Tony DiNozzo as he entered his partner's home. Throughout the day she had been distant as well as quiet, even to his taunts and jokes. McGee had noticed as well and the pair discreetly mentioned it to their boss when she had gone to the restroom. Special Agent Gibbs had only nodded saying he knew and to leave her alone. Baffled, the boys continued to work until the day was finished. Before she had left, Ziva was stopped by Gibbs who whispered into her ear and squeezed her shoulder. That had been at 1800.

Try as he might, Tony had been unable to get her to answer the phone, thus leading him to her apartment at his knocks had gone unnoticed, Tony unlocked her door with the spare key she had given him. The woman he saw on the couch was completely opposite to the one he'd been working with for over seven years.

Dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a tank, the ex- Mossad officer was curled up into the corner of the sofa. Ziva's hair covered her face, blocking his view as she stared at a picture. She had not noticed his entrance until he called her name.

"Ziva?" Her head shot up to reveal puffy, red eyes and tear stains.

"Tony," she said wiping her eyes, "what are you doing here?"

"You weren't answering your cell and I wanted to make sure you're okay. McGee and I noticed something was wrong earlier," he explained, taking a couple steps closer to his partner.

"I am fine Tony. It was not necessary to come."

"That's bull and you know it."

"Tony I am not in the mood to argue with you tonight. Now please leave," Ziva said as she began to stand up. Tony watched as she carefully set the picture on the table beside the vodka. He walked up to her.

"Come on Zi, we're partners. Tell me why you're crying."

"I told you I am fine. It is none of your concern as to why I am upset." It was then Tony saw who was in the picture. A teenage Ziva hung onto a slightly older man's neck as he stood holding her piggy-back style. Tony stared at the man's face for a few moments before he spoke in a deadly tone.

"Ari Haswari? Why in the hell would you be crying over that terrorist?" Ziva was silent and refused to meet his eyes.

"Who was he to you? A lover?" At this her eyes snapped up to meet his.

"No…" He cut her off, not seeing the anger and pain that began to fill her eyes as he began to yell.

"Then who is he to you? How can you cry over the man who killed Kate, kidnapped Ducky, shot at Jen and Abby, and tried to kill Gibbs? Why do you care that he's dead?"

"Because he was my brother!" Tony's blood ran cold as a tear fell from Ziva. Her body shook with silent sobs of grief.

"What?"

"Ari Haswari was my half brother."

"Why didn't you tell us? Tell me?"

"It was not your place to know. Gibbs knows and that is all that matters."

Tony shook his head in disgust as rage appeared once more on his face. Without a word his turned and stormed out, ignoring Ziva's calls. She sank to the floor as the sobs tore from her throat at the man she loves rejection. She stood up as her cries slowed and grabbed the vodka bottle and held it to her lips. Swallowing the swig, she blew out the candles and turned off the light before she entered her bedroom and collapsed onto her mattress. The tears remained on her face throughout the night as her nightmares raged on.


	2. Chapter 1

**Don't own**

**Chapter 1:**

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><p>Gun shots rang through the mid-morning air as Ziva and Tony fired at Maddie's kidnappers. The pair had split up while Gibbs had gone in to get his deceased daughter's best friend. Neither of them had spoken a word to the other since their harsh fight the previous night. Tony remained hidden at the front entrance while Ziva had gone out to the far side of the outside building.<p>

He heard shots fired right as Gibbs pulled Maddie into the car. He watched in horror as his boss drove backwards into the bay. Leaping to his feet, Tony sprinted after then while firing at the kidnappers. Unknown to him, his partner was also desperately in need of help.

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><p>Ziva's spot had been found by a guard. He was silenced by her ten inch, black hilted knife being thrown into his chest. Bullets rained down on her as she fought to get away and help Gibbs. She was hit three times. Out of the corner of her eye, Ziva saw the car go into the water. Pushing the pain from her mind, the Israeli knocked out the gunman. She then took off towards the spot where Gibbs and Maddie had disappeared. Tony was two feet ahead of her as they drove off the ledge and into the frigid water.<p>

Together they swam to sunken car as Gibbs tried to keep an unconscious Maddie's head above the rising water within the automobile. Tony started to beat the windshield inward until Ziva was able to pry it off. Gibbs pushed an unconscious Maddie out of the vehicle and into Ziva. The ex-assassin handed her off to the man beside her.

Wrapping his arms tightly around the girl, he swam for the surface. Once there he climbed onto the dock and laid her on her back and opened her mouth for air to enter her lungs. Turning he dove for a second time into the freezing water of the bay.

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><p>Meanwhile Ziva was attempting to free Gibbs's legs from underneath the steering wheel. The older man glanced at her lithe form and was alarmed to see faint traces of blood surrounding her as he began to lose consciousness. Suddenly Ziva gave a sharp tug and broke the wheel off as Tony arrived at her side. She swam into the car some to push out her boss and father figure to him. Her eyes meet Tony's green ones for a brief second before he swam once again to the surface. Running short on air, Ziva started to swim out of the car when her leg became tangled within the seatbelt. Struggling, she reached for her knife only to realize that it was still embedded in the guard's body. As the adrenalin faded from her body, she began to feel the pain of her bullet wounds and blood loss. Brown orbs closed as her air supply vanished, leading her into the vast blackness of nothing.<p> 


	3. Chapter 2

**I own nothing**

**Chapter 2:**

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><p>Tony hauled his boss up onto the dock next to Maddie. He laid him on his back and felt for a pulse. Opening the older man's mouth he felt for his breathing, but there was none to be found. Alarmed, the young agent began to do chest compressions.<p>

"Come on Boss, don't do this to me." After a few moments of CPR, Tony was forced to give up and try to revive Maddie.

Just like before, he felt for a breath and could feel her pulse going. Leaning down, DiNozzo blew air into her lungs. Unlike Gibbs, the girl began to cough as Tony rolled her onto her side. Weakly she reached for Gibbs' hand and squeezed it. Seconds later, the marine gasped for air, startling his protégé, and attempted to sit up.

"Oh God Boss, don't scare me like that," sighed Tony causing Gibbs to chuckle. The laughter faded as he realized that they were missing an agent.

"DiNozzo, where's Ziva?" The agent glanced behind him and saw only water and buildings.

"She was right behind me Boss, I swear," their eyes met with a look of fear and 'oh shit' ran through their minds.

"ZIVA!" Tony shouted and jumped back into the water.

Panic raced through him at the sight of her limp body floating in the car. Her hair had fallen from its tight braid and waved across her face and open mouth. He attempted to pull her from the vehicle until her saw her trapped foot in the seatbelt. His right hand grabbed his knife and he began to saw the belt in half. It finally snapped apart and he reached for her. With his arms securely around her waist, Tony swam strongly towards the surface. Their heads broke the water's surface as he tried to keep her head above the water.

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><p>Gibbs and Maddie pulled her up while he scrambled onto the wet dock. His fingers flew to her neck in a desperate effort to find a pulse. Unable to find one, he launched into chest compressions, mumbling under his breath as he did so.<p>

"Come on David, breathe," he said as he bent over to put air in her lungs. He had envisioned kissing her soft lips many times before and wanted to be able to do so freely, with her responding as well.

"Damnit Ziva, we didn't go through hell just for you to give up now."

Gibbs held Maddie as the sight became too upsetting for her to handle. His ice blue eyes watched as his senior agent fought to bring back the woman he saw as a daughter. He knew they loved each other, he wasn't stupid. During the weeks in their attempts to find her, he had decided that it wasn't fair for them to have to follow Rule 12 when they clearly cared for one another. A gasp from Maddie brought him out of his thoughts.

"Gibbs…" she whispered, pointing at a growing pool of blood underneath Ziva. He rushed to DiNozzo's side and began to remove her jacket.

"Boss?"

"Keep helping her try to breath. She's got a pulse and is bleeding out. Was she shot?"

"I…I don't know Boss. We split up when you…"

"Damnit DiNozzo, you're supposed to have her six at all times," the grey haired man snapped as her found one of her gunshot wounds on her left shoulder. He noticed that the bleeding wasn't slowing down.

"Gibbs, belt," ordered Tony as he spotted the second wound on her right thigh. Taking the belt, he tightened it above the wound to slow the blood flow. A cough broke the silence as Ziva began to breathe again on her own. She groaned in pain, her hands gripping her side firmly. A smaller pair rested on top of hers as Maddie hung up Gibbs' cell.

"Hang in there Ziver, help's coming."

"…hurts…" she moaned, her eyes squeezing shut and her teeth clenching. Tony's face was filled with fright as they anxiously waited for backup and the ambulance.

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><p>McGee arrived first with Ducky and Palmer. The three men quickly rushed their aid as the sound of sirens grew closer.<p>

"My word, you all look drowned," Ducky observed, not noticing the wince on their faces at his choice of words.

"She's been shot three times Duck and is bleeding out." It was then the paramedics arrived and took over. With the help of Tony and McGee, they lifted Ziva onto the gurney and began to strap her in.

"Is anyone riding with her?" Gibbs stopped them for a second and leaned over to whisper into her ear.

"You will not die Ziva David. That's an order." She turned her head and he strained to hear her.

"Aba," Gibbs kissed her forehead and stepped back. Tony felt a tug on his shirt from Ziva's hand. He clasped it and looked at the EMTs.

"I'm her partner, I'll go." They loaded her into the back and Tony sat beside her as she fell asleep in exhaustion.


	4. Chapter 3

**I own nothing!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3:<strong>

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><p><em>*Crime Scene*<em>

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><p>No training, no preparation, no warning of any kind could have prepared him for the scene before him. Timothy McGee stared shell shocked at the sight in front of his eyes. His boss and Maddie sat on the back of an ambulance while doctors checked them over. Police cars and the NCIS truck were parked beside it. But what horrified him the most as the dark pool of blood on the dock. Ziva's blood.<p>

"McGee!" bellowed Gibbs, catching his attention. The young agent swiftly walked over to him.

"Yeah Boss?"

"The director has already called in an extra team to help case the scene. I'm putting you in charge of the crime scene and to wait for Ducky to arrive. DiNozzo said that there are so bodies on the other side of the building for him. I'm going to take Maddie to the hospital then I'll be back if you all are still here." Tim looked his boss in the eye before he spoke, afraid of the answer.

"Uh, Boss, um how…how bad is she. I mean…uh," Gibbs cut him off by placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not sure yet. Tony rode with her to Bethesda, but the last I saw she wasn't doing that great. Don't worry though she'll be fine."

"How do you know for sure?" McGee asked as the EMTs started to close the doors.

"Because I haven't given her permission to die yet!"

Ducky and Palmer arrived five minutes later in their van. For once they hadn't gotten lost, but that didn't make up for the solemn looks upon their faces.

"Ah Timothy, there you are my boy. Mr. Palmer, get the gurney please."

"Right away Doctor," the young assistant muttered. Ducky looked at McGee.

"How is our Ziva?"

"I'm not sure, but Gibbs says she wasn't looking so good when they left. Tony's with her at the hospital," he replied as he led them to the bodies of the four men who had attacked Ziva.

"Oh my, well, we can know for certain that these three over here died of gunshot wounds to the head and chest," the doctor confirmed gesturing towards three of the bodies. He knelt down beside the final man. "This one however, fell prey to a knife in the heart."

"That's Ziva's knife, Ducky," said McGee.

"Of course it is my boy. Mr. Palmer, let's get these gentlemen home."

The pair began to place the bodies into black bags as McGee's phone rang. The screen showed 'Abby's Lab' on it indicating she had been informed.

"Hey Abs."

"Don't you 'Hey Abs' me McGee! What is going on? Why is there another team out there helping you guys?" she paused in her rant. "Oh my gosh, someone's hurt aren't they? No no no Timmy not again. Who was it? Please don't say Gibbs…"

"Abby! Calm down Gibbs is fine, just a little soggy. He's on his way to Bethesda with Maddie to make sure they don't get sick. They are fine," he soothed, hearing Bert the hippo fart in the background.

"Oh good, but you haven't said why you need extra help." McGee gave a deep sigh before he spoke.

"There's been an accident and Ziva's hurt pretty bad. All I know is that Tony's at the hospital with he now and that she's been shot."

"SHOT! Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh, McGee. I'm on my way there now."

"No Abby, Abby wait," he tried to stop her, but she had already hung up. _'Gibbs isn't gonna be happy about this,'_ he thought as the teams began to finish up. Opening his phone back up he dialed Gibbs to warn him of Abby's coming.

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><p>Short i know, but don't worry more is on the way!<p> 


	5. Chapter 4

**I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4:<strong>

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><p><em>*Bethesda Naval Hospital*<em>

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><p>Hospitals. Sucked. That was the only way he could explain how he felt about them without ranting for hours. The worst part of them was the waiting areas. Sitting there for hours on end, without any word on the condition of your love one. This was where Anthony D. DiNozzo sat. His clothes were covered in blood, Ziva's blood. He had tried to stay by her side when they took her into surgery, but he wasn't permitted. The only thing he had been able to do was tell them get call Dr. Pitt to be Ziva's doctor. His thoughts were interrupted by a hand on his shoulder.<p>

"Agent DiNozzo?" inquired an elderly nurse. She had short grey hair and her name tag said "Kathy" on it.

"Yes," he replied, lifting his head, "is there any news on my partner?"

"I'm sorry dear, but not yet. I do have a pair of scrubs that you can change into though. I thought you might want to dry off and freshen up while you wait," she explained, holding out a set of dark blue scrubs.

"Oh, thank you."

"I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything on her," she promised. He nodded and started to walk out only to be called back.

"They gave me these when she went into surgery. Her weapons will need to be signed out by your boss when she's discharged." Ziva's badge felt heavy in his hand, but his heart ached at the sight of her necklace.

'_Oh Ziva, what have I done?'_

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><p>*<em>A few minutes later*<em>

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><p>Dry and in the scrubs, Tony sat back down. Ziva's Star of David hung from his neck for comfort and safe keeping. He held her badge in his hands, staring at the blood that was on it. The past few hours played through his mind like a song on repeat. The more he reviewed it, the guiltier he felt.<p>

"DiNozzo?" a familiar voice spoke.

"Boss?" The silver haired marine took the seat beside him.

"How's Maddie?"

"A little shaken up and a little bruised, but otherwise fine. And Ziva?" Tony could only shake his head.

"No word yet," he answered, not able to meet his boss' in the eye. The guilt that was welling up formed a lump in his throat.

"Tony?"

"This is all my fault Gibbs. I was supposed to have her back and I didn't. I broke rule number one, I screwed over my partner and now look where we are. I went over to her place last night to see if she was alright, ya know. She was crying and had been drinking, but the worst part is, I found out something. Ari was her brother Gibbs. He killed Kate. I was so angry at her Gibbs for not telling me." By now he was almost in tears as finally met Gibbs' steel blue gaze. The older man gave a tired sigh.

"I know DiNozzo. I've known for a long time."

"How did you…"

"She told me the night he died."

"After you killed him," Tony murmured.

"No Tony, after _Ziva_ killed him."

"What?"

"She shot him in the head to save me. That's why she requested to come work as liaison for NCIS. She had to get away from Mossad for a while." Tony hung his head and sighed. Gibbs decided to take some pity on him. "Hey, just because I don't accept apologizes, doesn't mean she doesn't as well."

Before he could say anything more, the sound of heels clicking as a frantic Abby rushed into the room followed by Ducky. Gibbs stood up to meet them, bracing himself for the embrace that Abby was about to grab him in.

"Oh my God Gibbs!" she cried into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly to comfort her. She released him minutes later and looked at Tony who hadn't moved from his seat. Quietly she walked over to stand in front of him. Once he looked up the goth wrapped her arms tightly around his body. Tony clutched her like a life line while Ducky and Gibbs spoke. Their conversation was interrupted by McGee sliding into the waiting area.

"Ziva?" he asked as he gasped for breath. Gibbs walked towards him.

"Nothing yet, but hopefully soon." They all sat down in the chairs to wait for their beloved girl.


End file.
